Reflection Friday! On Envisioning Your Fall Writing Life

And a few short thoughts on what to satisfice*

Hi friends,

I woke up this morning realizing that I am getting on a plane to Europe two weeks from today. Between now and then my parents are coming for a week (yay!) We’re having a book party for my dad’s book (double yay!) Both of my kids are performing in their first full-length plays (Something Rotten, Junior as a puritan, and A Midsummer Night’s Dream, as Lysander), so we’ll have six theater performances (also yay!) And I have a preschool graduate and an elementary school graduate, and the seventy billion activities that go with those, plus trying to wrap up all of the editing and other work so I can be gone for three weeks without working. And I need to vote in our local elections (ABC, NYC friends!).

So in the midst of this, here’s what I’m going to do this afternoon—and I’d like to invite you to join me. Before the summer starts and the edges start to fade about this academic year, I need to capture how I felt about this year, so I know how to strategize for next year. (Lots of folks have variations on this theme -MHWAS does end of the year accounting this way, last year I was trying to rebalance things so I tried to plot out what was taking my energy and whether it was worth it…figure out exactly what questions you want to ask yourself).

Last year, my goal was to rebalance things to keep myself from burning out (I mostly did a good job of it, but it’s an ongoing process). This year, my goal is to make sure that the work I am doing both in my personal and professional life is aligned with my values (or at least value-neutral—I don’t have time for capitulating to fascism) and that I’m not bored (no mindless repetition—or capitulating to fascism, cause fascism is boring as hell).

The process

Here’s what we’re going to do. Go to a coffee shop. Order your favorite drink, the one you usually don’t buy because it feels really problematic to pay $8.50 for a coffee.

Find a table. Put in your noise-cancelling headphones. Play music if you want.

Open your journal to a blank page. Pull out the nice pen.

At the top, write “less/same/more.”

I would write down what you want for the next academic year. To publish in a high-ranking journal? To be less anxious? To spend more time with your kids? To do fewer, more meaningful projects? To apply for promotion?

And then write. See where your brain takes you.

Less

Questions to ask: What triggers anxiety? What do you find yourself putting last or avoiding? What is taking up SO MUCH of your time it’s sucking the air out of the room for new projects? What doesn’t need your particular energy? What constantly feels urgent but isn’t important?

More

Questions to ask yourself: What can’t you stop thinking about? What are projects/things that you don’t look at the clock while you’re doing them? What exists at the sweet spot of something you like doing /you’re good at /there’s a need for it? When don’t you feel anxious or overwhelmed? What projects involve people you like or respect? What work has a season to it—is unlikely to present itself as an option in the future?

Same

Questions to ask yourself: Are there things that you are satisficing—and it’s working for you? Are there things that neither take or give you a ton of energy, but they provide something useful? What can you do to stabilize those so they just stay the same—don’t grow to take up more time, don’t stagnate?

Then what?

Pull this out as you make decisions/set goals for the fall. Here are some verbs that might help:

Less: minimize/ sunset/ say no to/ draw boundaries around/ deprioritize/ outsource/ delegate

More: manifest/ maximize/ bring more of into your life/ say yes/ ask for/ speak into the universe/envision/ lay ground work/ put out feelers/ start to cultivate

Same: maintain/ limit/ satisfice/ contain/ neutralize / share

Kelly, you sound a little woo. Is this a little woo?

This can also be as “woo” or as task-driven as you want. You can think of it as manifesting outcomes, or as maximizing utility. The idea is to get clarity about what we want in the new academic year, so we can gear ourselves up for making that a reality.

One of the hardest things about running my own business is that it feels like an n of one. When I taught, there were a dozen excellent scholars who had taught similar classes and generously put syllabi online, would share assignments, etc. And I learn really well from models.

In the absence of a model for how to do things, I will tell you that speaking things into the universe has helped me enormously. Why? Part of it is perception—when I’m clear about what I want less of/more of/to keep steady, I pay a different kind of attention to different things. I might ask different questions of people in my network, or click on different emails and linger on different possibilities, say yes to something I might have otherwise said no to because it feels like a stepping stone somewhere, say no to something I’d normally have said yes to because I realize that I’m making decisions driven by fear or anxiety, not by what I’m trying to grow. All of these tiny microactions help create possibility.

The shuffle of time

Of all of the questions above, I think the question of what needs my energy right now has been most instructive for me. And time is time is time. We all have the same number of hours in the week, and so it’s a constant shuffle to make sure the hours are assigned the way you want them to be. Here’s how I make some of what I do work.

Our kids get out of school at 2:15, if you can believe it. Our first year here, I picked up the kids every day and felt like I was going to lose my mind—I was doing a bad job hanging out with them, doing a bad job trying to work 15 fewer hours a week, etc. Our second year, we had them in after school, and that wasn’t great either—we felt like we never saw them, the programs had some issues, the kids were exhausted at the end. This year, my husband does about 85 percent of pick ups. He is happier than what we were doing before, the kids are happier because their dad is the coolest dad (and buys them mid-week park ice cream), and I’m happier because it means I can work, but also be there for all of the PTO meetings and trombone concerts without having to go to the playground for the TWELFTH AFTERNOON IN A ROW (which Jim and the kids love!)

When my dad gave me the green light to FINALLY read all of his journals and poems from over the years, I jumped at the chance to put together the anthology. Not only because this was a project that certainly needed my unique brand of patience and stubbornness to bring into the world, but also because now was the book’s time. It needed my energy, right now. And it’s here, and beautiful, and I love it.

I am also acutely aware, especially as my kids become bigger kids, that there is a real seasonality to things. Will I get the chance to be a managing editor on a journal ten years from now? Totally. I can say “not right now,” even if part of me thinks it would be a really cool challenge. Will my kids want me to come on every field trip because they think I’m the coolest mom ten years from now? I mean, maybe not! Will my dad want to write a book with me ten years from now? I hope so, but maybe not! So when things feel like they need to happen now, it’s worth making that space.

Whereas my thirties had a LOT of work-for-works’ sake in the “More” column, my forties are much more focused on slowing down, paying attention to what’s important, and figuring out who and what need me NOW. The rest can wait.

One final ask

Since we’re talking about speaking things into the universe—two things I am actively exploring for the fall are a) being on retainer as a coach/consultant/developmental editor for a department or university and b) hosting more virtual writing retreats for departments/universities. If you hear of anything in either of those realms, let me know!

Let me know how taking the time to reflect and make some plans go!

xoxo,

Kelly

What’s going on around here

We’re taking a little summer hiatus, but please be in touch for fall editing or coaching! More information is coming soon about a back-to-school mini writing sprint and fall writers’ circles, so stay tuned!